"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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