He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
