Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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