a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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