do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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