I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
