so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
