is your mom at the bar?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
