I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
