Heybabeimwearingurpanties
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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