I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
