Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
