I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize