She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize