Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize