I accidentally burped into my bong.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Drake has all the answers
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
