help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
