How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
