sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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