i don't like sucking hair
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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