I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
