i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
