Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
