he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
