i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
