Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
