i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
