WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
