I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
