im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
