even my farts smell like vagina
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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