I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
