If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You are the jesus of drinking
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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