ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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