This is not my ceiling
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
