ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize