And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
