please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
