hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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