Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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