i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
