You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
