We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
