Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
