I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
not ubering you a puppy
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
