Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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