I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize