i was born a porn star she said
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
