eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
