yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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