it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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