Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
