reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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