I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize