Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The police scanner is talking about you again....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
