he wants to bone in the snuggie
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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