I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
