I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
