It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
