I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
