i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
