I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
