im about as happy as oj after his trial
operation have a gay friend backfired
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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