Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
