when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
