You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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