Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
